Post by DM Cyphus on May 10, 2006 13:46:04 GMT -5
Well...I was kinda bored...and found this humorous site about the Jack Bauer character from 24. Apparently he is soon to be revered as Chuck Norris, Mr. T and Jean Claude Van Damme are...and by that I mean "as a god." lol
A few examples for you:
If everyone on 24 followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called 12.
If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.
If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken...but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then it's fucking beef.
Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.
There have been no terrorist attacks in the United States since Jack Bauer has appeared on television.
If Jack Bauer's gun jams, it's because he wanted to beat you with it.
Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in three moves.
It's no use crying over spilled milk...unless that was Jack Bauer's milk. Oh, you are so screwed.
If Rosa Parks was in Jack Bauer's seat, she'd move to the back of the bus. (ROFL...horribly wrong, I realize...)
Jack Bauer once arm wrestled Superman. The stipulations were that the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants.
When Jack Bauer goes to the airport and the metal detector doesn't go off, security gives him a gun.
Sun Tzu once wrote, "If your enemy is weaker, conquer him. If he is stronger, join him. If he is Jack Bauer, you're fucking dead."
Jack Bauer can leave a message before the beep.
And...for you Chuck Norris fans...here are two more:
If Jack Bauer was gay, his name would be Chuck Norris.
Jack Bauer named his cat 'Chuck Norris.' Why? Because Chuck is a pussy.
lol...
Anyway...that's what I just did with most of my day.
A few examples for you:
If everyone on 24 followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called 12.
If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.
If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken...but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then it's fucking beef.
Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.
There have been no terrorist attacks in the United States since Jack Bauer has appeared on television.
If Jack Bauer's gun jams, it's because he wanted to beat you with it.
Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in three moves.
It's no use crying over spilled milk...unless that was Jack Bauer's milk. Oh, you are so screwed.
If Rosa Parks was in Jack Bauer's seat, she'd move to the back of the bus. (ROFL...horribly wrong, I realize...)
Jack Bauer once arm wrestled Superman. The stipulations were that the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants.
When Jack Bauer goes to the airport and the metal detector doesn't go off, security gives him a gun.
Sun Tzu once wrote, "If your enemy is weaker, conquer him. If he is stronger, join him. If he is Jack Bauer, you're fucking dead."
Jack Bauer can leave a message before the beep.
And...for you Chuck Norris fans...here are two more:
If Jack Bauer was gay, his name would be Chuck Norris.
Jack Bauer named his cat 'Chuck Norris.' Why? Because Chuck is a pussy.
lol...
Anyway...that's what I just did with most of my day.
